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Author Continually update your values/definition of success  (Read 233 times)


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Offline Isaac Adeniran

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Continually update your values/definition of success
« on: July 30, 2020, 06:22:07 AM »
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  • Continually update your values/definition of success

    ďIf youíre not [different from] who you were 12 months ago, you didnít learn enough.Ē ó Alain De B0tton
    Transformative experiences can change your life. Similarly, transformative relationships can change your life.
    You want to regularly have experiences and engage with people who upgrade your current approach and perspective of life.
    Right now, you see the world a particular way based on your environment, your goals, and what youíve been conditioned to focus on.
    You can only see what is relevant and meaningful to you. Psychologists call this selective attention. What you focus on expands.
    Right now, what you focus on may be different from what you were focusing on two to three years ago.
    When you were young, you were focused on what your friends thought about you. As you got older, your focus shifted.
    Peak experiences are a certain type of experience that bring something that has been out of focus into focus. When you have these experiences that shift your focus and attention, you begin to see the world differently.
    You want to continually shine the focus of your attention on things that are meaningful and valuable to you.
    How much of your time and attention is on things that donít really matter?
    How much energy to you put into stuff that isnít serving you?
    What could you be focused on, that would be way more worth you time?
    I recently met a person who helped me focus way more directly on my relationship with my kids. He told me a story that really changed my perspective. I was really listening and receptive to what he was saying.
    The story he told me hit upon things Iíd already heard before, but that werenít strong enough signals to shift my attention. But his story and the whole experience really made it real for me, enough so that it changed my values and goals.
    There are things youíve heard before which went in one ear and out the other. Those are things you know, but donít do. Stephen Covey said, ďTo know and not do is really not to know.Ē
    Just because youíre aware of something doesnít mean you pay attention to it. Becoming emotionally connected to something is how you begin paying more attention to it. As you engage in something, and begin to identify with it, it becomes a bigger part of your life.
    Right now, look at your health. How much attention do you give it? Youíve heard a million times that your health is important. Youíre aware, but are you paying attention? Or, is your attention on other things?
    Your attention can be measured by what triggers you in your environment. Hence, people who are addicted to alcohol are triggered by many things in their environment to think about alcohol.
    What triggers you?
    Thatís what youíre focused on. Thatís what you identify with. Thatís what is meaningful to you. Thatís where your story of yourself lies.
    You can design your focus so that your external environment triggers what you want to see.
    Similar to attention, there are things you know are valuable, but that you personally donít value.
    For example, you probably believe that good health is something worth valuing, but your behavior demonstrates what you really value. What you pay attention to is what you value.
    So, you want to have experiences that shift what you could value to what you do value. You want to truly value things that will make the biggest difference in your life. You want to stop valuing the things that are sabotaging your success.
    You want to set goals around the values you aspire to have. You want to create routines and an environment that bring those values to the forefront of your attention. Your input shapes your outlook. You then want to live out those values daily. Then, you want to regularly have experiences which upgrade, expand, and refine those values.
    If your definition of ďsuccessĒ hasnít changed in the past 12 months, then you havenít learned very much. If your definition of success hasnít changed, then you havenít been having powerful experiences.


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    Continually update your values/definition of success
    « on: July 30, 2020, 06:22:07 AM »
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