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Love, Relationship and marriage

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clip What to Do with Loneliness
June 19, 2019, 12:47:35 PM by oneluv
What to Do with Loneliness
Instead of hiding those empty feelings, here’s what to do with loneliness…


By Ashleyne Seitz
 

I’ve felt lonely while sitting in my car at a stoplight, radio blasting and windows rolled down. I’ve felt it in a crowded room, surrounded by laughter and friends. I’ve felt it in the middle of the night, both in my dreams and when I wake up suddenly in the dark.

Loneliness. It’s a familiar feeling for all of us.

Feelings of loneliness can turn into fear of loneliness. And fear of loneliness can turn into avoidance of loneliness. And then eventually you’re sending 1,000 texts a day, drowning your feelings in alcohol or video games, or hooking up with people you don’t even know—all because you don’t want to be alone in the world for even a few minutes. Or maybe you do the opposite—shut yourself in your room and ignore the world entirely to avoid being connected to people. Once you feel lonely, it’s nearly impossible to get out of your loneliness, because you are…alone.

A proverb says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.” (Proverbs 14:10) We are each fundamentally separated from all other humans, and although we can understand each other to a certain extent, we will still feel that separation. No one fully understands what it’s like to be you. Regardless of how you react to it, loneliness can be a big, painful problem for all of us.
What causes loneliness?

Ever wonder what we were made for? The Bible explains that God wired us for connection, for community. Often we idealize romantic relationships and even friendships, thinking that if we only found the right person, we’d never be lonely again. But loneliness can be found even in happily married men and women. Not only were we wired for connection with other humans, we were wired for connection with God. Even wealth, achievement, and honor are not enough to keep us from loneliness. Pop culture is full of examples; rampant divorce, suicide, and drug use litter the landscape of Hollywood. There are also stories in the Bible that talk both about people who had it all and still felt lonely and about people who had nothing but found what they needed by approaching God.

Solomon was a king of Israel to whom God granted immense wisdom. And he literally had it all: huge piles of gold, a giant palace, and hundreds of wives and concubines. You’d think Solomon would have been the most content man on earth! But he wrote a book about how pointless life is: “Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 2:11) You can hear his loneliness and desperation in that statement!

In comparison, one day when Jesus was walking through a town, he was met by a man with leprosy. Lepers were ten times more scary then than now; people were terrified of catching it. Lepers were outcasts and rejects, often abandoned by friends and family to beg on street corners just to have something to eat. Picture this particular leper sitting in the dust and dirt, ignored by everyone who passed by. He had no one to turn to and not a penny to his name. He got up, walked up to Jesus, fell on his knees in the street, and asked to be made clean. Jesus touched the leper - a person who had likely not been touched by another human being in years - and healed him. The now socially-acceptable man was ecstatic and went around telling everyone about it, although Jesus had instructed him otherwise. His life suddenly had joy and meaning, despite the fact that he still had nothing and no one. What changed this former outcast’s world so entirely? Just one brief interaction with Jesus.
We weren’t made to be lonely

We were made to have a relationship with God.

It’s the one thing that can bring us out of our loneliness, because it’s the connection we were made to have. That one interaction with Jesus, who is God, brought meaning, comfort and joy to the life of that leper, while all the jewels, gold, and women in the world didn’t bring meaning to Solomon’s life. Having a personal relationship with God changes everything; it is the answer to our loneliness problem.

That said, does having a relationship with God protect us from feelings of loneliness for the rest of our lives? No. Simply put, the system is broken. It’s a complicated story you can learn more about here, but our world is a damaged place. We are separated from God by our sin, our desire to live apart from God. In this world, we cannot experience life the way it was meant to be, without loneliness or evil or sorrow or fear.

So now what?

Despite the fact loneliness is a reality of being human with no immediate cure, there are two things that can help in the here and now:
Community: how to deal with loneliness

Because we were created for connection, a big part of dealing with loneliness is to be in community. No friend will save you from being lonely ever again, but when you have people around you who care about you for who you are (not for your body, skills, money, or ability to hold alcohol) it can help you see you are not really alone.

In fact, science backs this up: the more friends you have and the more connected you are, the better your health. All you have to do is Google “Health Benefits of Friendship.” Brene Brown, a researcher and expert on human interaction, explains it this way: “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Sharing your life with people who love you helps you to see outside your own perspective and bring meaning to your life that you can remember in lonely moments.
Someone who understands your loneliness

Sometimes it’s hard to understand how believing in a God that you can’t see could possibly help you feel less lonely on a Friday night. But the Bible says God will never abandon his children, and he is near to all who call on his name. God loves you and desires relationship with you. He wants you to come to him when you are lonely!

Not only that, he understands. When Jesus was going through the worst hours of his life and about to be crucified, his friends abandoned him and even pretended they didn’t know him. Jesus knows what it is like to be a lonely human. The Bible says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) What would it feel like to know in your deepest moment of loneliness, you are not alone? The God who made you is with you and will never leave you!
You can have that

The sin that separated us from living in a world without loneliness is what keeps us from God now. No matter how good you are or how hard you try, you cannot overcome that separation. God sent Jesus to earth in order to restore our relationship with him - the Bible says that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted. Jesus, the perfect son of God, died for your sins so that you could be clean like the leper; you are no longer an outcast or a reject but a child of God. Tim Keller, a pastor and author, said this about how God views us: “The only eyes in the universe that can see you to the bottom, love you to the skies.” God sees your worst moments and loves you all the same; he wants you to come to him.

Would you like to start a relationship with God and let him help you in your moments of loneliness? You can do that right now by believing him and accepting him into your life through prayer, which is simply talking to God. God knows you and your heart, so the words don’t matter as much as the attitude in which you say them. Here’s a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Thank you for being with me and for saying that you will never leave me. Please help me to feel your presence.
clip How Love Works
June 04, 2019, 05:04:06 AM by oneluv
  How Love Works                by     Lee Ann Obringer       

           The Chemistry of Love                 There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love. Researchers are gradually learning more and more about the roles they play both when we are falling in love and when we're in long-term relationships. Of course, estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area (see How Sex Works). Without them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.
That initial giddiness that comes when we're first falling in love includes a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we're releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement. According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and well-known love researcher from Rutgers University, together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention. She also says, "The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature."
 
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  Researchers are using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to watch people's brains when they look at a photograph of their object of affection. According to Helen Fisher, a well-known love researcher and an anthropologist at Rutgers University, what they see in those scans during that "crazed, can't-think-of-anything-but stage of romance" -- the attraction stage -- is the biological drive to focus on one person. The scans showed increased blood flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine -- associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.
Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealizing view that occurs in the attraction stage comes from researchers at University College London. They discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love "obsess" about their partner.
clip 10 Stages Of Love Relationship That Most Couples Go Through
June 04, 2019, 04:57:04 AM by oneluv
10 Stages Of Love Relationship That Most Couples Go Through
Know the stage of relationship you’re in with your loved one
by Harleena Sarah
 

Man and woman in a Stage of love relationship



 Love grows. The more you nurture love, the more it grows. It changes from conditional to unconditional, from casual to true – love in a relationship changes with time. In fact, there are different stages of love in a relationship. If you know and understand them, it may help you develop a beautiful loving relationship. So, here are the various stages of a relationship that most couples go through. Though they may not necessarily occur in this order and all people may not undergo all the stages, you’ll get a good idea about what to expect in a love relationship and how to work towards growing your love and the relationship. ~ Ed. Did you know that there are different stages of love relationship that most couples go through?
Can you guess presently which stage of relationship you’re in with your loved one?
Well, no matter how the love starts, or what is your kind of love  – nearly all couples go through the stages of love in their relationship as mentioned in this post.
Understanding the different phases of love helps couples to move successfully into a better long term relationship.
I won’t repeat about what love is, as I’ve done that in my post on understand true love between two people . But, I’d certainly like to say that love always grows and changes.
The excitement and kind of romance that brings two people together in the first place is very different from the love that emerges ten or thirty years later.
I’m sure the married lots would agree with me there! But if you're unmarried, I wonder which stage of love relationship is your best one so far – do let me know that
“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” ~ Robert Frost.

Different Stages of Love RelationshipWithout drifting away from the topic, let me share with you the various stages of love that most of you unknowingly undergo in your relationships.
I’ve also mentioned the 10 C’s  in the colored boxes below each stage point, which are the terms that I feel best associate each of the stages of love relationship in every couple’s life. Hope you find them helpful.



1. Romance & infatuation stageThe romantic stage is the best one I would say, and I can see many heads nodding in agreement with me there too!
This is the first stage in every love relationship, and most of you must be having fond memories of going through it – right?
When two people are attracted to each other, they get infatuated. They put their best foot forward and are reeling with romance and passion.
What happens in such a stage you might ask? Well, simply put – you just can’t stop thinking of your partner – they are always on your mind!
The old saying “love is blind” is really apt in this stage because it truly is

This ‘enchantment’ phase brings in a lot of affection, laughter, playfulness, and all the negative traits are ignored. Lot of emphasis is laid on the similarities you both share.
People in this stage feel high when they’re together and can’t wait to be with each other when they’re apart. There are butterflies in the stomach, and your fluttery hearts don’t stop beating for each other.
As I write about it, I remember the time I went through this phase – love was always in the air.
Most people think they’ve found their soul mate when they are in this stage. But behind the curtains it’s actually the chemistry of love that is taking place.
All of this makes you feel euphoric, triggers positive moods, and boosts your energy levels. There is change in the personalities, sex drive, and you might even enter a state of fearlessness. With the chemical changes in the brain, sometimes you might even overlook major flaws in your partner, and rush into marriage before actually crossing this phase.
I know this romantic feeling feels great while it lasts, but it doesn’t last forever even if you want it to.
Captivation is the term that defines this phase, and is called by lovers as the sweetest among all stages of love relationship in life.

2. Disturbance stageAfter a few months of being together with each other when the ‘love chemicals’ wear off, couples return to their normal selves with normal moods and sex drive.Everything starts getting back to normal, and instead of only focusing on each other, couples become more involved with their daily duties and work.
Those who aren’t aware of this normal stage of love in a relationship might think they’ve fallen out of love. Sometimes they might even get upset by their partner’s lack of attention on them.
Small bickering and fights are a normal part of this stage of love. But sometimes confrontation is healthy as it helps you understand things better.
When you learn to confront and resolve issues and conflicts, it helps your relationship mature.
If you’re in this stage, you might wonder why your sex drives doesn’t match your partners, or why theirs lessened, or why you annoy or anger your partner more now.
You might make assumptions and opinion about your partner, and your expectations also tend to increase form each other.
When these assumptions and opinions differ in real life, it might leave you feeling ecstatic or depressed.
What you need to do is hold on! The best is yet to come – even if you see a drop in your love relationship. Keep making the efforts and hope for the best.
Confrontation is the keyword that best defines this phase, because among all the stages of love relationship, this phase is really the testing period for a couple.
break up love relationship

3. Changing stageYou might be having a lot of expectations from your partner. Sometimes you might even try and mold them to be like the perfect partner you want to see them as.It’s like a power struggle going on, and sometimes relationships end if one side dominates the other.
Instead of seeing the similarities as you did in the romance stage, you focus on the differences and flaws of your partner.
Some couples might even break up and move on  at this stage. This happens especially with those who date often, or don’t fully commit, and look for love but find disappointment instead.
On the other hand, some couples survive through the pain and dissatisfaction of a relationship.
They learn that a good relationship involves compromise and sacrifice, and you can improve your relationship with kindness.
It is observed that relationships are often at their all-time low after a decade or 10 years. If you cross this stage, you might as well carry on for the rest of your life.
Confusion is the word I’d use to describe this phase as it’s the most critical of all stages of love relationship.

4. Understanding stageThose of you who’ve crossed all the above stages of love in your relationship and reached so far – it means you’ve begun to understand your partners better now.The understanding stage is a lot about give and take, and each partner tries to change the other to suit his or her needs.
Couples in this stage remain blissful and happy with each other, and they keep making efforts to work on their relationships to make things work.
In this stage, both partners recognize and accept each other for who and what they are. They need to avoid misunderstanding and understand each other better than before.
The stages of love in a relationship aren’t easy, but if you know how to move from one stage to another, it’s not all that tough either.
To get past this stage, accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses. You need to focus on the positives, let go of the negatives, and explore each other’s goals and interest.
Compromise best describes this stage, which sets the foundation for stability and defines an upward swing in the love relationship.
Man comforting woman in a love relationship

5. Discovery stageOnce a couple passes the above stages of love relationship, all the unrealistic expectations tend to fade away.Both sides start to discover more of each other and make efforts knowing how they both can fit and work things together.
Couples start defining and clarifying their roles, commitment, and compatibility towards each other. They need to explore their relationship needs and their partners too.
They need to decide on questions like how much time do they like to spend together or remain apart, how does each side like to express love, or receive it etc.
Once couples are able to communicate their needs effectively to one another, they can avoid a lot of other things that can make a relationship bitter.
They need to avoid unhealthy behaviors like avoidance, withdrawals, criticism, and defensiveness. Instead, focus on acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and patience.
Consolidation is the term for this phase that really sets the stage for real happiness in a love relationship.

6. Connection stageNext comes the phase of love in a relationship in which the couples go deeper into trust, commitment, and connect with each other.This is the stage when they experience intimacy. They are more supportive of each other and share each other’s experiences as well.
Problems or ups and downs are part and parcel of every relationship. However, the trust both partners will have and the loyalty towards each other will carry them through these small problems.
In this stage, you stop thinking about your own individual selves and shift the focus to what works best for the relationship.
It’s actually a stage of attachment when you feel connected, are one-to-one, and love each other a great deal. There is more of team spirit and oneness that further strengthens the relationship.
This perhaps is the stage when you feel like a perfect match or made for each other. Some of you might even decide to get married once you have come this far.
Companionship is the term that defines this phase, as it’s one of the best stages of love relationship according to me.

7. Doubting stageAh..don’t most of you come across this stage when doubt starts to creep in? Mostly, this stage comes after many years of being together with each other in a relationship.You might start thinking about your exes, your past relationships, or start comparing your present partner with another. Even suspicions could infect the relationship and the man could start looking for ways to find a cheating wife – the disturbance has the potential to lead to divorce!
In this stage, everything is related to your relationship. If you’re unhappy and hurt in your relationship – you tend to blame it on your partner for putting you through such trying times.
You might even start comparing your relationship with other couples, and other relationships. Remember, you can cross this stage of love in your relationship if you aren’t dull and boring.
Comparison is the word I’d use here, as this is one of the most critical of all stages of love relationship in your life.

8. Sexual stageIn this stage, your sex life plays a major role. Either the sex drives of both partners may change or one of you might get disinterested or over interested in sex.One of you may give up on sex, or keep looking for ways to make it more exciting. However, if there is a difference in sexual interests, one of you might even up having an affair.
The answer lies to find creative ways to make your sex life more exciting, which might make your relationship better and bond both of you better.
Coupling is the apt term to describe this stage of love relationship.
Senior couple in pure love relationship

9. Trust stageThis is the ultimate stage when both partners love and trust each other totally. However, sometimes this kind of complete trust can also make you take each other for granted – so be careful there.From all the above stages of love in a relationship, it’s in this stage that you know the direction of your relationship. You are happy with each other, and know what to expect from each other too.
Even though there is total bliss and understanding in this stage, don’t stop appreciating and take your partner lightly. That’s because love needs to be worked up or nurtured all the time.
Remember, love is like a plant that needs nourishment to keep it alive!
If you don’t keep your love fresh and alive, and fail to express your love to your lover more often, it can be rekindled by someone else.
Completeness is how I would describe this phase, as among all the stage of love relationship this is the one where you feel complete.

10. Spiritual stageThis is among the toughest stages of love relationship to achieve for most people, though not impossible.It’s more a willingness to help your partner fulfill his/her potential, without any selfish motive.
There is ongoing personal and spiritual growth for both partners. Unconditional love is perhaps achieved in this stage when you become the best version of yourself.
I haven’t reached this stage yet, so can’t write about it much!
Conjugation or unification best defines this stage of love relationship.
I’m sure those who have been in a relationship for a while, must’ve gone through all or most of these relationship stages. And for those who are still to fall in love, I’m sure you’d be well prepared now.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~ C.G. Jung
Once you are aware of these stages of love in a relationship, you know what to avoid and what to do so that you can easily move into a long term relationship, and let your love deepen and blossom further.
Remember, good relationship need to be worked on all the time. You need to take out time, be aware, practice the skills, and take the risks too. Most importantly – just love your partner with all your heart.
“Love, and you shall be loved.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Over to you
Do you believe there are different stages of love relationships, and have you gone through them? If you are in love, how would you best define the stage of your love relationship? Share your experiences.
clip THE PRECEPTS OF SINGLEHOOD
June 02, 2019, 12:04:40 PM by Theresa
THE PRECEPTS OF SINGLEHOOD









Singlehood comes to play when one reaches the puberty age, which is between the ages of fifteen (15) and thirty (30) thereabout.
Nevertheless, these ages could be a bit higher or lower depending on a couple of factors which could consist various cultural peculiarities and degrees of development etc.
Single hood can be characterized by the appearance of the strong urge of attraction for the opposite gender and sex thoughts run through your mind more often than ever before.


Some researchers in the United States of America say that in that culture, a boy of thirteen (13) has sex thoughts once every three (3) minutes when his thoughts are not occupied actively.
This research could be applied here in Africa and as well as other continents across the globe. Small children everywhere with totally no direction of guidance can get sexually active at ages ten (10) or even below! Almighty creator (God) made young women and men to begin experiencing sexual feelings at early stages in life for procreation and also for building relationships.


For sure, God Almighty is the founder of love, marriages and even relationships, the Holy Bible Bible makes us understand in John 3:16, that God loves and cares for us abundantly and also in the book of 1st John 4:8, says “God Is Love” and he wants us to layout our relationships his way according to His inventor’s guidelines. God’s intention and requirement is for all marriages to last for a lifetime and men and women are majorly expected to discover His gift of sexual togetherness in marriage.
The Bible says in Hebrews 13:14 “The marriage bed kept pure”. Hence, defiling the marriage bed by having sex before marriage really grieves God! On the other hand, if we follow God’s precepts in single hood, we are guaranteed genuine love… satisfying sex, companionship, intimacy e.t.c that would remain for a lifetime.
It’s disheartening nowadays how our perverse society and our media say that virginity is old-fashioned and no longer court in marriage. For sure that is a lie because according to God’s marriage manual “thou shall not defile the marriage bed”. The two most important people in your life are God and your partner, so as long as your body is concerned it belongs to them… “Jesus bought you at great cost with his precious blood on the cross”.
Hence, your virginity is the most important gift you could ever give to both of them.


You must like or love yourself and value yourself first to enable you love others, because it is said “you cannot give what you don’t have”.
God says in proverbs 29:18 “where there is no vision, the people perish”. Therefore, you need to pay proper knowledge and expectation about your future family life, else you could miss it altogether and end up in a calamitous marriage.
clip DELAY IN MARRIAGE FOR LADIES
May 29, 2019, 09:37:01 PM by Theresa
DELAY IN MARRIAGE FOR LADIES




🤔
 Girls at the *age of 18-24* always attract serious men who
 are fully ready to get married but at this age most of our
 girls never wish to hear anything about marriage...
You will hear them saying "who want marry, who care
about mariage"... But these girls will be having serious
sex relationship with small boys of their age..
I mean serious sex relationship because at this age, they
always have high rate of boys, guys and men coming for
them but they will prefer to chose those boys rather than
the men..

They are still young to marry but they're not young to have
sex with boys...
If you even ask them why are you small girl having sex
relationship like this...
You will hear her asking you back "Who is a small girl? Do
you even know what 1 know? Are you expecting me not to
be having sex at this my ge? Do u want to kill me? And
besides, what is your own problem with my own life? 1 beg,
pack well".

 *At the age of 25-27* , parent will start asking them how far?
Don't you have any one yet? Are you not planning to get
married? Your mates are getting married? Couldn't you
, Know how old you are..? But mind you, par. only seems
outside of their daughter not knowing that inside is
finished....
With all this questions by her own parent she will now be
thinking and asking herself some questions like..' "My mate
are getting married? Docs it mean l am old enough to
marry?
Hmmm, but how should I go about it those my boyfriends
are not the serious tyvp :... They're not even ready to marry
yet.
Well, God knows the best I believe in God".. My sister, Did
you just mention God..? Hmm!
 *At the age of 27-30..* They will now start looking for men to
marry not boys to have sex again... They will start looking
for serious relationship that will lead to marriage.. But the
funniest this is that, at this age of 30 no man will be asking
their hand in marriage...
Though they will see men but those men will only want date
from them not marriage... Then you will see them forcing
themselves to mar a man who didn't like to marry them...
 *No single man at the age of 30-35* will like to marry a lady
of 30-35 too, instead they will be looking for girls of 20-25
marry and that is why you will see some men going back
to their village to find young girl to marry when they seems
that those young girls in the city are not serious about
 marriage and those that are serious are also too old for
them.
 *At the age of 30.* , if you ask her why are you not
married at this your age that it's getting too late...' You will
hear her asking you some silly questions like.. "Are you God? Or do you want to marry me?
Is single at *30 or 35* a crime? Did I see who will marry me and I didn't marry him?
God knows the best pls.
 *At this age of 30-35* they will start going from one prayer
spot to another like never before... They will now be a fake
serious type.. Her name will now change from Lizy for sure
to Sister Elizabeth, from Baby Rash to Aunty Rasidat.
At this age if you ask her for dating you will hear her saying
"My brother, I am not like them.....  I am looking for husband not dating if truly you love me go and see my parent for
marriage. I can't do anything without asking for my parent
hands.. But when she was *18-24* years she was doing
everything without her parent hands.
But ladies, do you even know that no man want old version
again? Everybody is looking for latest version? You don't
expect a young man of 30yrs to marry you of 30yrs as his
house wife...
Men that will be interested to marry you will be men of 40
plus and mind you, those men have married with kids
except you want to be second or third wife and 1 know that
Nigerian lady will not want to be second or third wife even if
she's destined to.
Everything in life has it own season and time... No lady of
 *30-35* years now that is looking for husband that didn't see
one that wanted to marry  her when she s *18-24* years
but by then, she wasn't serious because she was not
looking for husband but looking for sex.

Lets assuming you started having sex at the age of *16-20* ...
Now you're *30yrs old...* My sister can you count how many
time you had sex? Well, let's forget about that because l
know you won't like that part at all. So, I am sorry to had
gone there in the first place.
But let me tell you, everything is not about prayer. God who
created you has made a plan for you but when you by
yourself changed the plan or miss the road you will now be
shouting God where are you...
When God was shouting my daughter where are you You
were there doing Shakara, enjoying the life of your head
and taking men for granted.

Why do we have high rate of single mothers and single
ladies nowadays? Does it mean no men again? You will see
that the old are there not getting married while the yourng
ones are getting married.
You as a elderly or senior sister never marry but your
 younger or junior sisters are getting married... You will now
 be asking God some funny questions like "God why me? Am
I not your daughter again?

Please take correction and make necessary adjustment
now.....
clip YOU CAN MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE HEAVEN ON EARTH
May 29, 2019, 09:12:59 PM by Theresa
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE HEAVEN ON EARTH






When Satan is in a marriage :trouble, disagreements, blaming, quarreling, arguments, grumbling and complaining, anger and bitterness, keeping records of wrong, judging and condemning, is the product of each day.

But when Jesus is in a marriage :it is mutual understanding, trust, forgiveness, patient, forebearing, tolerance,  perseverance, self-control, love, joy, peace and abundant life.

No one can enjoy true life in marriage outside of Jesus.When the two do not fear God and focus on Jesus, abiding in his word; obeying or putting his commands or teachings into practice ,they will not enjoy good life.

The scripture says, Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, by cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.This is so that, you might present her in glorious splendor, without spot, wrinkle or any other blemish to God. He who loves his wife loves himself for God has joined the two to become one flesh. Gen. 2:24. And no one will ever hate his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it.

Do you spend all your time making money or is busy with other things?
Are you true to her? Do you spend time discussing and planning with her? making pleasure trips and playing with her? praying and studying the scripture with her? Is your wife please with you?

Do you see your wife as yourself and truly love her as yourself?
Do you spend time with her, and labor to keep her always happy?
How can you spend all your time with others and show love and care to the world and your wife is sick and dying of lack of love and care? That is hypocrisy.

That is the reason why many wives do not see in the same direction as their husbands and do not follow the husband's vision or belong to the same fellowship with the husbands.

Do you seek to nourish her body and soul or she is frustrated and seeking for others to love and care for her?(Pastoral care)
What prize have you paid that Christ be formed in her?
Do you know your wife is the first person God has given and commissioned you  to give to him an account of ?Eph. 5:21-31.

Wives obey and submit to your husband's as to your leaders. Continually recognizing their authority over you, for they are constantly keeping watch over your soul and guarding your spiritual welfare as men who will have to render an account of you. Do your part to let them do  their task with gladness and not  with burden; sighing and groaning, for that would not be profitable to you either. Hebrews 13:17.

Do you make yourself available for your husband to build you up and give account of you to God as a faithful servant? Can he instruct, rebuke, correct and train you in righteousness in discipline in obedience, in holy living, in conformity to the will of God?

Wives, do all you can to please your husband, obey and be submissive to your husband as a service to the Lord. Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband, that she regards him, honors him, prefers him,  esteems him;  praise him, loves and admires him exceedingly, appreciate  him, be devoted to him.
Sarah obeyed Abraham followed  his guidance and acknowledged his headship over her and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and let nothing terrify you, not giving way to hysterical fear or letting anxieties unnerve you. 1Peter3:6

If you want your wife to submit to you or your husband to love you, You should submit to God and live not for yourself.  Obey his instructions and you will see God molding your partner for you to begin to enjoy heaven in your marriage.
Every Joy Of Heaven
clip 6 tips to help Introvert to come out of your shell
May 27, 2019, 04:00:14 PM by oneluv

6 tips to help Introvert to come out of your shell


   


You’d be amazed by the number of women that are introverts. A lot of women’s performance at work is motivated by status, accolades, money, or simply wanting to be the best. But in their social life, they would rather not have to be forced to speak or talk to anyone new. To them it takes more energy and a conscious effort than they care to be bothered with.

Here are six tips for all of the introverts to help you come out of your shell in social settings and meet someone awesome.
1. Tell yourself over and over, “These people have no idea who I am”

When in a new environment, don’t be alarmed and talk yourself out of walking up to the restaurant bar or looking up, smiling and saying hello to a complete stranger. The chances of them remembering you low, think about a time when you were at an event with hundreds of people there, by the next day you probably couldn’t recall anyone who was there or what they were doing. So relax, grab a seat, mingle, and enjoy the eye candy and great conversation.
2. They are mere humans just like you

They are not any different from you, so don’t be intimidated by them. Some of them are just as afraid of approaching you as you are of them. Just think that if neither one of you take a chance to smile or look approachable, you are both guaranteed to go home without contact information. After all, you ARE hoping to meet new people right?
3. Meeting new people will only expand your network

You say you already have enough friends and you don’t have the room in your life for any new ones. We feel there is always room to expand your network. You never know who you may meet. Your new female friend may have guy friends that may be a great match for you. Additionally, it’s nice to have a variety of single friends to travel or attend events with.

   


4. Practice walking up to someone and giving him or her a compliment

There is nothing better than a random compliment to brighten someone’s day. It boosts their confidence, somehow broaden their shoulders. Giving compliments are also a safe conversation starter that gives just enough of an open door to someone else to continue a conversation they may have been hoping to have with you.

 
5. Brighten up your wardrobe

If you’re an introvert, black, brown, navy and gray colors are not helping you to get noticed. Help yourself by wearing warm and inviting colors that say, “Hello, I’m here, I’m open to meeting new people, and it’s ok to approach me” before you even say a word.

 
6. Every action in life does not have to have a purpose

We’ve realized that many introverts have to plan every aspect of their lives and each move they make has to have a purpose. The challenge here is that mingling in a social environment will most likely never make clear sense because you don’t know who you’ll meet and what they can add to your life if anything. So throw all of these purposeful thoughts out of the window. The only purpose to meeting new people is just that, to meet new people. As long as you have strategically planned to socialize at places where there are people with similar interests, hobbies, education level if applicable, etc, just mingle and keep an open mind. See where the conversation takes you and just be along for the ride. You’ll most often be pleasantly surprised with friends or experiences you have in common.
clip Common cold:overview and general causes
May 27, 2019, 09:18:32 AM by Theresa
COMMON COLD :OVERVIEW AND GENERAK CAUSES





Overview
The common cold is a viral infection of your nose and throat (upper respiratory tract). It's usually harmless, although it might not feel that way. Many types of viruses can cause a common cold.

Children younger than 6 are at greatest risk of colds, but healthy adults can also expect to have two or three colds annually.

Most people recover from a common cold in a week or 10 days. Symptoms might last longer in people who smoke. If symptoms don't improve, see your doctor.

Symptoms
Symptoms of a common cold usually appear one to three days after exposure to a cold-causing virus. Signs and symptoms, which can vary from person to person, might include:

Runny or stuffy nose
Sore throat
Cough
Congestion
Slight body aches or a mild headache
Sneezing
Low-grade fever
Generally feeling unwell (malaise)
The discharge from your nose may become thicker and yellow or green in color as a common cold runs its course. This isn't an indication of a bacterial infection.

When to see a doctor
For adults — seek medical attention if you have:

Fever greater than 101.3 F (38.5 C)
Fever lasting five days or more or returning after a fever-free period
Shortness of breath
Wheezing
Severe sore throat, headache or sinus pain
For children — in general, your child doesn't need to see the doctor for a common cold. But seek medical attention right away if your child has any of the following:

Fever of 100.4 F (38 C) in newborns up to 12 weeks
Rising fever or fever lasting more than two days in a child of any age
Symptoms that worsen or fail to improve
Severe symptoms, such as headache or cough
Wheezing
Ear pain
Extreme fussiness
Unusual drowsiness
Lack of appetite

Causes
Although many types of viruses can cause a common cold, rhinoviruses are the most common culprit.

A cold virus enters your body through your mouth, eyes or nose. The virus can spread through droplets in the air when someone who is sick coughs, sneezes or talks.

It also spreads by hand-to-hand contact with someone who has a cold or by sharing contaminated objects, such as utensils, towels, toys or telephones. If you touch your eyes, nose or mouth after such contact or exposure, you're likely to catch a cold.

Risk factors
These factors can increase your chances of getting a cold:

Age. Children younger than 6 are at greatest risk of colds, especially if they spend time in child-care settings.
Weakened immune system. Having a chronic illness or otherwise weakened immune system increases your risk.
Time of year. Both children and adults are more susceptible to colds in fall and winter, but you can get a cold anytime.
Smoking. You're more likely to catch a cold and to have more-severe colds if you're exposed to cigarette smoke.
Exposure. If you're around many people, such as at school or on an airplane, you're likely to be exposed to viruses that cause colds.
Complications
Acute ear infection (otitis media). This occurs when bacteria or viruses enter the space behind the eardrum. Typical signs and symptoms include earaches and, in some cases, a green or yellow discharge from the nose or the return of a fever following a common cold.
Asthma. A cold can trigger an asthma attack.
Acute sinusitis. In adults or children, a common cold that doesn't resolve can lead to inflammation and infection of the sinuses (sinusitis).
Other secondary infections. These include strep throat (streptococcal pharyngitis), pneumonia, and croup or bronchiolitis in children. These infections need to be treated by a doctor.
Prevention
There's no vaccine for the common cold, but you can take commonsense precautions to slow the spread of cold viruses:

Wash your hands. Clean your hands thoroughly and often with soap and water, and teach your children the importance of hand-washing. If soap and water aren't available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
Disinfect your stuff. Clean kitchen and bathroom countertops with disinfectant, especially when someone in your family has a cold. Wash children's toys periodically.
Use tissues. Sneeze and cough into tissues. Discard used tissues right away, then wash your hands carefully.

Teach children to sneeze or cough into the bend of their elbow when they don't have a tissue. That way they cover their mouths without using their hands.

Don't share. Don't share drinking glasses or utensils with other family members. Use your own glass or disposable cups when you or someone else is sick. Label the cup or glass with the name of the person with the cold.
Steer clear of colds. Avoid close contact with anyone who has a cold.
Choose your child care center wisely. Look for a child care setting with good hygiene practices and clear policies about keeping sick children at home.
Take care of yourself. Eating well, getting exercise and enough sleep, and managing stress might help you keep colds at bay.
clip INFLUENZA: OVERVIEW AND GENERAL CAUSES
May 27, 2019, 12:38:44 AM by Theresa
INFLUENZA: OVERVIEW AND GENERAL CAUSES







Overview
Influenza is a viral infection that attacks your respiratory system — your nose, throat and lungs. Influenza is commonly called the flu, but it's not the same as stomach "flu" viruses that cause diarrhea and vomiting.

For most people, influenza resolves on its own. But sometimes, influenza and its complications can be deadly. People at higher risk of developing flu complications include:

Young children under age 5, and especially those under 2 years
Adults older than age 65
Residents of nursing homes and other long-term care facilities
Pregnant women and women up to two weeks postpartum
People with weakened immune systems.

People who have chronic illnesses, such as asthma, heart disease, kidney disease, liver disease and diabetes
People who are very obese, with a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or higher
Though the annual influenza vaccine isn't 100 percent effective, it's still your best defense against the flu.

Symptoms
Initially, the flu may seem like a common cold with a runny nose, sneezing and sore throat. But colds usually develop slowly, whereas the flu tends to come on suddenly. And although a cold can be a nuisance, you usually feel much worse with the flu.

Common signs and symptoms of the flu include:

Fever over 100.4 F (38 C)
Aching muscles
Chills and sweats
Headache
Dry, persistent cough
Fatigue and weakness
Nasal congestion
Sore throat
When to see a doctor
Most people who get the flu can treat themselves at home and often don't need to see a doctor.

If you have flu symptoms and are at risk of complications, see your doctor right away. Taking antiviral drugs within the first 48 hours after you first notice symptoms may reduce the length of your illness and help prevent more-serious problems.


Causes
Flu viruses travel through the air in droplets when someone with the infection coughs, sneezes or talks. You can inhale the droplets directly, or you can pick up the germs from an object — such as a telephone or computer keyboard — and then transfer them to your eyes, nose or mouth.

People with the virus are likely contagious from the day or so before symptoms first appear until about five days after symptoms begin. Children and people with weakened immune systems may be contagious for a slightly longer time.

Influenza viruses are constantly changing, with new strains appearing regularly. If you've had influenza in the past, your body has already made antibodies to fight that particular strain of the virus. If future influenza viruses are similar to those you've encountered before, either by having the disease or by vaccination, those antibodies may prevent infection or lessen its severity.

But antibodies against flu viruses you've encountered in the past can't protect you from new influenza subtypes that can be very different immunologically from what you had before.

Risk factors
Factors that may increase your risk of developing influenza or its complications include:

Age. Seasonal influenza tends to target young children and older adults.
Living or working conditions. People who live or work in facilities with many other residents, such as nursing homes or military barracks, are more likely to develop influenza.

Weakened immune system. Cancer treatments, anti-rejection drugs, corticosteroids and HIV/AIDS can weaken your immune system. This can make it easier for you to catch influenza and may also increase your risk of developing complications.

Chronic illnesses. Chronic conditions, such as asthma, diabetes or heart problems, may increase your risk of influenza complications.
Pregnancy.

Pregnant women are more likely to develop influenza complications, particularly in the second and third trimesters. Women who are up to two weeks postpartum also are more likely to develop influenza-related complications.

Obesity. People with a BMI of 40 or more have an increased risk of complications from the flu.

Complications

If you're young and healthy, seasonal influenza usually isn't serious. Although you may feel miserable while you have it, the flu usually goes away in a week or two with no lasting effects. But high-risk children and adults may develop complications such as:

Pneumonia
Bronchitis
Asthma flare-ups
Heart problems
Ear infections

Pneumonia is the most serious complication. For older adults and people with a chronic illness, pneumonia can be deadly.

Prevention
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends annual flu vaccination for everyone age 6 months or older.

Each year's seasonal flu vaccine contains protection from the three or four influenza viruses that are expected to be the most common during that year's flu season. This year, the vaccine will be available as an injection and as a nasal spray.

The nasal spray hasn't been available for two years due to questions about its effectiveness. The current version is expected to be effective, according to the CDC. The nasal spray still isn't recommended for some groups, such as pregnant women, children between 2 and 4 years old with asthma or wheezing, and people who have compromised immune systems.

Most types of flu vaccines contain a small amount of egg protein. If you have a mild egg allergy — you get hives only from eating eggs, for example — you can receive the flu shot without any additional precautions. If you have a severe egg allergy, you should be vaccinated in a medical setting and be supervised by a doctor who is able to recognize and manage severe allergic conditions.

clip Quinoa For Diabetes Management
May 27, 2019, 12:03:00 AM by Theresa
QUINOA FOR DIABETES MANAGEMENT





Diabetes Management: Here's Why You Should Add Quinoa To Your Diabetes Diet .

Quinoa is pseudo-grain, but its nutrient-rich profile has garnered a massive fan-following in the country. Quinoa is a grain-like seed, which is mostly available in two varieties: red and white.

You can cook quinoa the same way as you cook rice and rice-based dishes and have twice as much fibre. Quinoa is enriched with monounsaturated fatty acids, which are essential to support a healthy heart.

Quinoa is also a treasure trove of a variety of antioxidants and minerals such as potassium, phosphorus, copper, zinc, vitamin E, iron and magnesium. It is also a complete source of protein, which means it has all essential amino acids, making the pseudo grain an excellent plant-based source of protein for vegetarians. According to experts, quinoa is also a good addition to a diabetes diet. Here's what makes it so effective in managing blood sugar levels.
 

Quinoa For Diabetes
 

Quinoa is packed with high quality fibres. Fibres take time to digest, which ensures you are full for long. Since fibres take so long to break down, it ensures slow-release of sugars in blood stream, which in turn helps manage blood sugar spikes.

According to consultant nutritionist Dr. Rupali Datta, "Quinoa's fibre content is much higher than other cereal grains like wheat, barley, and ragi. Quinoa also has low GI, which makes it a great substitute grain for diabetics."


The Glycaemic Index (GI) is a relative ranking of carbohydrate in foods according to how they affect blood glucose levels. Carbs with low GI value (55 or less) are digested, absorbed slowly, causing gradual increase in blood sugar levels. Quinoa has a glycaemic index of around 53, which may help prevent blood sugar spike.

 

How To Have Quinoa For Diabetes Management
 

Rice, especially white rice, is high on carbs and is known to surge blood sugar levels. You can cook quinoa as a healthy and yummy alternative. You can also boil or steam quinoa and include it in salads, smoothies, and cereals.

Include quinoa in your diet and see the results yourself.
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